antipaucity

fighting the lack of good ideas

maggie

It had such promise.

Or, should have.

How could you go wrong? Slow zombies. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A plot.

It was also [almost] direct-to-video.

What am I talking about? Maggie. The worst movie Ahnold has been in since End Of Days (and boy was that one bad).

No, it was worse than End Of Days.

I don’t know where to begin. So let’s start with the conclusion. It sucked. Bad. And not in the Red Heat kind of bad – more in the Gigli kind of bad.

The zombies in this movie are slow (a plus), but they also take weeks to turn into one after being bit (which, conveniently, gives the non-turned ample time to plan to eliminate them, and time for the turning to get their affairs in order before being dispatched). In the whole movie, I think, there’s only two encounters with “real” zombies – which could have lots of promise. Focusing on the humanity of the situation could have been good.

But it wasn’t. The pacing was atrocious. Good Night, and Good Luck was this slow, but for a reason. This movie was slow, I think, so that they could call it a “movie”. It’s listed at 95 minutes from IMDb. Pretty sure it’s really only about 52 minutes long.

And even that was about 41 minutes longer than it should have been.

I’ve only not seen a couple Arnie films – make sure you add this to your list of ones of his to skip.

draft day – the second football movie of the year

And while not as good as When The Game Stands Tall, still a very good movie.

The parents’ guide warnings from IMDB may be helpful – there’s more language than needed for the story-telling, though I guess that’s what brought it into the PG13 range instead of PG.

I’m not a huge fan of sports movies in general, but some are good (especially the ones that aren’t really sports movies (like For Love of the Game, another Kevin Costner film)). I’m happy to be able to add this one to my list of enjoyable stories.