paddy’s bricks

So I write this note to tell you of my plight
At the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
So I write this note to say why Paddy’s not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the gaffer wasn’t very pleased, he was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod.

To clear away those bricks by hand, to me seemed very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.

So when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder as towards the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks fourteen floors below

Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks that were scattered all around.

Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I’d passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top, that’s when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn’t have no hope
And in all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel again being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you’ll understand why Paddy’s not at work today.