Category Archives: news

’tis a sad day :(

A ‘Modern Man’ has passed from our midst (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk_dRzaBoUM):

I’m a modern man,
A man for the millennium,
Digital and smoke free.

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,
Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

I’ve been uplinked and downloaded.
I’ve been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing.
I know the downside of upgrading.

I’m a high tech lowlife.
A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,
And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I’m new wave, but I’m old school,
And my inner child is outward bound.

I’m a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,
Voice activated and biodegradable.

I interface from a database,
And my database is in cyberspace,
So I’m interactive,
I’m hyperactive,
And from time-to-time,
I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball,
Ahead of the curve,
Riding the wave,
Dodging a bullet,
Pushing the envelope.

I’m on point,
On task,
On message,
And off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed,
I got no urge to binge and purge.

I’m in the moment,
On the edge,
Over the top,
But under the radar.

A high concept,
Low profile,
Medium range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top gun bottom feeder.

I wear power ties,
I tell power lies,
I take power naps,
I run victory laps.

I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
A raging workaholic.
A working rageaholic.
Out of rehab,
And in denial.

I got a personal trainer,
A personal shopper,
A personal assistant,
And a personal agenda.

You can’t shut me up,
You can’t dumb me down.
‘Cause I’m tireless,
And I’m wireless.
I’m an alpha male on beta blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever.
Laid back but fashion forward.

Up front,
Down home,
Low rent,
High maintenance.

Super size,
Long lasting,
High definition,
Fast acting,
Oven ready,
And built to last.

I’m a hands on,
Foot loose,
Knee jerk,
Head case.

Prematurely post traumatic,
And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

But I’m feeling,
I’m caring,
I’m healing,
I’m sharing.
A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.

My output is down,
But my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond,
And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

I read junk mail,
I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds,
I watch trash sports.

I’m gender specific,
Capital intensive,
User friendly,
And lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex.
I like tough love.
I use the f word in my email,
And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini mall.
I bought a mini van in a mega store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.

I’m toll free,
Bite sized,
Ready to wear,
And I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped,
Factory authorized,
Hospital tested,
Clinically proven,
Scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I’ve been pre-washed,
Pre-cooked,
Pre-heated,
Pre-screened,
Pre-approved,
Pre-packaged,
Post-dated,
Freeze-dried,
Double-wrapped,
Vacuum-packed,
And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude,
But I’m the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked, and ready to rock.
Rough, tough, and hard to bluff.

I take it slow.
I go with the flow.
I ride with the tide.
I got glide in my stride.

Drivin’ and movin’,
Sailin’ and spinnin’,
Jivin’ and groovin’,
Wailin’ and winnin’.

I don’t snooze,
So I don’t lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal,
And the rubber on the road.

I party hearty,
And lunch time is crunch time.

I’m hanging in,
There ain’t no doubt.
And I’m hanging tough,
Over and out.

Mr Carlin, we will all miss you.

burma allowing help… finally

I read in the Wall Street Journal this morning that, 5 weeks after the cyclone that devastated their country, the Burmese (“Myanmarish”) government is finally allowing UN relief helicopters to bring food to the needy.It’s truly sad. The government sent the US Navy, who wanted to help, away. And they’ve disallowed UN relief efforts for over a month.A government that can’t be bothered to allow people to help it when it’s in trouble is going to kill its citizenry. 

metering bandwidth

A horrible comparison has been drawn in the following AP article about TimeWarner: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jwm8wu3jZWZLcKfIlycqFqFegknwD9126HN8A. “You’re used to paying extra if you use up your cell phone minutes, but will you be willing to pay extra if your home computer goes over its Internet allowance?”

There’s a problem with that statement: lots of cell phone users are going to unlimited time and text plans. I just switched because my personal phone is also my home phone is also my work number. So, switching made a great deal of sense.

My roadrunner bill was for “unlimited” usage. Of course, it’s de facto limited by the speed cap. If they want to meter usage, they could just drop the top speed. It’s how my hosting provider operates: I pay for an “unlimited” 2Mbps pipe to the outside world. I can’t push content faster than that. No per-gig funkiness required.

(Thanks to Ben P on the the TriLUG mailing list for pointing this story out.)

it’s sad to see a 17-year-old go so violently

I no longer drive a Mazda Protege. It bought the farm – as John so eloquently pointed out – Wednesday on my way to work.

So, I was in need a quick replacement.

Enter CarMax, stage left.

I went after work Thursday, they had something I wanted at a price I was willing to pay.

So now I have an 04 Ford Escape Limited.

It’ll be weird driving an automatic again, but ’tis a vewwy nizuh vehicle.

stop trying to make me ‘safe’

Wired’s Autopia has a post this week on the new mandate that all vehicles come standard with a “brake-shift interlock system” to prevent deaths of children putting vehicles in gear accidentally (or on purpose) and then being stuck in a runaway car.

I can speak from personal experience that being in a vehicle with no brake-shift interlock system that gets stuck in gear and starts rolling is not pleasant. However, I can also speak from personal experience that it happened because I was given the keys to unlock our van when I was about 7. My parents rarely did things that were unsafe, as I was a relatively intelligent boy. However, the emergency brake wasn’t fully engaged, and I rolled out of our driveway, across 4 lanes of road in front of our house, jumped a curb, and across another three lanes of roadway. Fortunately, I didn’t jump the second curb, or I would have ended up 65 feet down an embankment crossways of a 55 mph highway.

But the lack of a brake-shift interlock system wasn’t to blame: I was. I’m the one that stuck it in gear even though I knew that I probably shouldn’t. And I’m the one who didn’t stick it back in gear after the fact.

Parents need to be aware of their kids. They don’t need their cars doing their jobs for them. As a driver now, I always start my car with my foot either on the brake, the clutch, or both just because it’s a good idea to make sure the car doesn’t start to roll while you’re starting it. But a brake-shift interlock system isn’t what makes me do it – it’s common sense, backed-up with a personal experience of what can happen if you don’t.

It really bugs me when the government jumps in and tries to do things for us that make it feel more like a nanny than a government. Mandating seatbelts for adults is stupid. Mandating cars have airbags is overkill. Mandating safety for underage passengers may be a good idea, though the parent/driver should be worried about the safety of their passengers anyway. Seatbelt use should be pushed onto insurance rates, not enforced by cops. Airbags are desired by most consumers, and insurance companies give discounts if you have them, so there is an incentive for them to exist even if they’re not legally required.

Treating citizens like children doesn’t make them safe, it makes them dependent. Dependents don’t do things for themselves, don’t take responsibility for their actions, and are generally not healthy for the nation as a whole. We expect children to be dependent on their parents, but our country keeps trying to make its adults dependent, too.

And it disgusts me.