how cold is it?

an oldy, but a goody

An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)

New York tenants turn on the heat
Minnesotans plant gardens

Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans sunbathe

Italian cars don’t start

Distilled water freezes

You can see your breath
You plan a vacation in Florida
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
Minnesotans eat ice cream

Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

Cleveland water freezes
San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
Minnesota Vikings fans put on T-shirts—-YEAH!!!

You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!!
Minnesotans go swimming

Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
Too cold to snow
You need jumper cables to get the car going

New York landlords turn on the heat

You can hear your breath
You plan a vacation in Hawaii

American cars don’t start
Too cold to skate

You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Miamians cease to exist
Minnesotans lick flagpoles

Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
People in Duluth think about taking down screens

Too cold to kiss
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
Japanese cars don’t start
Minnesota Twins head for spring training

You plan a two-week hot bath
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof

Mercury freezes
Too cold to think
Minnesotans button top button

Californians disappear
Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
Minnesotans put on sweaters

Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window
Two Harbors Minnesota Agates practice indoors

Walruses abandon Aleutians
Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens
Boy Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby

Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo,WI
Lackore Boys start to complain while working on snowmobiles

Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
Girl Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby

Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer

Santa Claus abandons North Pole
Minnesotans pull down earflaps

Ethyl alcohol freezes
The University of Minnesota (Twin Cities Campus) closes

Lackore Boys quit working on snowmobiles.

Helium becomes a liquid

Hell freezes over

Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460 (Absolute Zero)
All atomic motion ceases
The University of Minnesota-Duluth is closed
Minnesotans alert us as to how it’s getting a mite nippy

refound here