antipaucity

fighting the lack of good ideas

welcome to laas technologies – purveyors of the latest paas techniques

Are your wigs in need of whitening? Do your dentures need to be dusted? Is your peg leg prematurely languishing?

Do I have great news for you!

Hello, and let me be the first to welcome you to LaaS Technologies. We are the true PaaS specialists – here to cater to your every whim and desire.

Yes folks, you heard right, you can finally get the best prosthetic for you whenever you need it: prosthesis-on-demand via our exclusive, patented Prosthetics-as-a-Service process. LaaS Technologies is so excited to serve this wide-spread community.

Too long prosthesis users have had to suffer through substandard supply processes. From the cycle of repeated denture fittings to the heartache of not being able to best utilize your bionic arm, or the emotional pain of being stuck with last year’s wig model when the latest fashionable variants have debuted – LaaS Tech is here for you.

With LaaS Tech’s innovative prosthetics-by-subscription offerings, you never have to worry about being out-of-style with your toupee, or that you’ll underperform at this year’s New York City Marathon – LaaS Tech will work with you and your budget to maximize your prosthetic experience.

Can’t afford much now, but want to upgrade later? LaaS Tech’s flexible pricing options let you mix’n’match your prosthetics to best fit your style, and your budget. We want you to be fully satisfied with your addons and upgrades, and are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Need a new limb for your big date this weekend? Ask about our exclusive short-term “burst” rentals, here you can take advantage of our industry-leading Limb-as-a-Service, on-demand upgrades.

Call us today, toll-free at 85LAASTECH (855.227.8324) and speak with one of our highly-trained PaaS consultants.

LaaS Tech will help keep you as vital as possible until your ultimate timely passing. When that time comes, visit our sister company, DeathEx, who will care for you in perpetuity*, to ensure your loved ones can always remember the best about you^.


* Unlike Plots-R-Us.
^ Ask about LaaS Tech’s unique Finalization Lease-to-Own offerings, whereby you can showcase the ultimate you to all your friends and loved ones even in your final passing.


Also published on Medium.