the genie of the lamp
A Polish gentleman was walking through Krakow one afternoon, and found a curious object covered in dust and grime.
As he was cleaning it, out popped a genie.
“I am the Genie of the Lamp™. I will grant you 3 wishes. Choose wisely.”
The gentleman asked, “3 wishes? Any 3 wishes?”
“Yes, any 3 wishes you choose.”
The gentleman thought for a moment and said, “I wish for the Mongol invasion of Poland.”
To which the genie replied, “The Mongol invasion of Poland? With Ghengis Khan and the Mongol Hordes? You’re Polish, you know – are you sure?”
“Yes, quite sure.”
“OK. Give me a few minutes.”
Up from the ancient battlefields, graveyards, and mausoleums across Asia rose Ghengis Khan and the Mongol Hordes. Sweeping across the steppes of Asia. Havoc! Bedlam! Death! Destruction everywhere! Into Poland! Leveling everything in their path.
And back to their resting places went the Mongol Hordes.
“Phew – that was probably the biggest wish I have ever granted. Are you satisfied, sir?”
Looking around decimated Krakow, the gentleman replied, “not bad, genie, not bad.”
“What do you desire for your second wish, master?”
“Easy – the Mongol invasion of Poland.”
“You want..the same wish. Again‽”
“Yes – is that against the rules?”
“Well…no. But. Well. OK. If you insist, sir.”
Up from the ancient battlefields, graveyards, and mausoleums across Asia rose Ghengis Khan and the Mongol Hordes. Sweeping across the steppes of Asia. Havoc! Bedlam! Death! Destruction everywhere! Into Poland! Leveling everything in their path.
And back to their resting places went the Mongol Hordes.
“I have never been asked for the same exact wish twice in a row before, master. How did that suit you?”
With barely a stone left atop another, the man said, “Genie – that was better than the first time.”
“Thank you, master – I live only to please.”
“Genie, I know what I desire for my third wish.”
“Yes, master?”
“The Mongol invasion of Poland.”
“…AGAIN‽”
“Yes – unless wishing for the same thing three times in a row is against the rules.”
“Master, you must be the most peculiar possessor of the lamp I have ever had. As you wish, sir.”
Up from the ancient battlefields, graveyards, and mausoleums across Asia rose Ghengis Khan and the Mongol Hordes. Sweeping across the steppes of Asia. Havoc! Bedlam! Death! Destruction everywhere! Into Poland! Leveling everything in their path.
And back to their resting places went the Mongol Hordes.
“Sir, I must ask – I have been in this business a very long time. Why, praytell, did you wish for the Mongol invasion of Poland – and why did you wish for it three times?”
The Polish gentleman replied, “that’s easy, genie – every time the Mongols invade Poland, they invade Russia. Twice.”
I don’t know the original author – but I’ve found this hilarious since I first heard it probably 10 years ago or more
Also published on Medium.
