fighting the lack of good ideas
Are your wigs in need of whitening? Do your dentures need to be dusted? Is your peg leg prematurely languishing? Do I have great news for you! Hello, and let me be the first to welcome you to LaaS Technologies. We are the true PaaS specialists – here to cater to your every whim and…
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an oldy, but a goody An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit) +50 New York tenants turn on the heat Minnesotans plant gardens +40 Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans sunbathe +35 Italian cars don’t start +32 Distilled water freezes +30 You can see your breath You plan a vacation in Florida Politicians begin to worry about the homeless…
Tom Lehrer, for those who don’t know, was a fantastic satirist and musical humorist in the 20th century. Lobachevsky is one of my favorites of his (YouTube edition): [spoken]Â For many years now, Mr. Danny Kaye, who has been my particular idol since childbirth, has been doing a routine about the great Russian director Stanislavsky and…
Have you ever noticed while walking a dog that they stop and sniff every tree, bush, and poo pile? And when two dogs come together, they sniff each other’s butts (a distinctly rude activity, if you ask me!) I have a theory – dogs sniff each other’s butts because they’ve sniffed the pee patches and…
From the `fortune`-powered, motd on my server this morning: Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month. According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing severe marketing anxiety in China. The words “Coca-Cola” translate into Chinese as either (depending on the inflection) “wax-fattened mare” or “bite the…
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: Hello? WOMAN: Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? MAN: Yep, sure am….. WOMAN: I’m…
I’ve figured out what to do with the more than 6 billion people who will need to be buried after they’ve passed-on. And how to make a handsome profit on the whole operation, too. That’s right: subscription burials! Good morning, and welcome to DeathEx, your friendly, local, death experts. We provide a full-service, personalized, and…